On Lack of Interests — Or what now?
The more I look at my life the less sure I am of my future. I am unsure of where I want to go to college, much less how on earth I will afford to go to any college at all. I am unsure of my job and whether I am cut out for programming as a career. I am unable to do anything remotely productive with my free time. It’s kind of scary. Today I realized how I have no real hobbies.
- Install and tweak software on my computer
- Help people out in IRC, usually with limited success
- Waste time on social networks
At one time, programming was on that list. Since I’ve taken up a job doing it for 40 hours a week I have done no lazycoding, and through some recent events at work, I am even unsure of whether I should be doing it at all. The stupidest little mistakes that you know you should not make, but do anyways, the kind of thing that makes you ask “wtf am I doing?” Things like installing the wrong package to production, or including silly bugs that shouldn’t exist at all, and more… It’s scary to know that I may someday do that for a living. I agree with Atwood, in that we are all shitty programmers, but still…
I had a lot of goals this summer… I wanted to learn guitar, I wanted to apply for a ton of scholarships, I wanted to do a hell of a lot of programming (OnBoard-NG is dead, officially) and you know what? I did NONE of that… The only thing I did was work, sleep and angst. Is there a name for this?
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